Monday, November 7, 2011

Free Fall

Have you taken that leap of faith ,
into the hands of the universe,
praying the fall is soft ,
and the bruises not too sore,
Did you jump off ,
knowing what to expect, 
or you let the mystery linger?
the sweet taste of fear, 
and that trickle of excited sweat,
telling you to hold on ,to that one last strand of hope,
questioning your decision,
and wondering if you could go back to that cliff,
stranded halfway , free falling and losing control ,
you breathe hard and say WHAT THE HELL !!
i have one shot at this,
lets start flapping hard,
or looking for Clark Kent and his cape,
giving up the fantasy,
you make the umbrella your parachute,
and land on a soft patch of grass .
out of breath and exhilarated, 
you look back at that cliff ,
and it doesn't seem that big now,
like every hard time that passed,
you just needed  that moment,
that moment to JUMP OFF :) ...

This one time :)

This one time , give me a chance
to choose what i want to do ,
leave me alone and watch me leap, 
Don't lift me up ,
just watch from the side and keep your arms open ,
if I need a hug ..I will ask,
Let me fall in love ,
with a man who makes me happy,
who doesn't protect me but  still protects,
I will find that man ..hopefully , 
This one time , i will wander in a crowd
If I am lonely .. I will walk back to where you dropped me off ,
Smile and tell you I was still lonely ,
This one time .. give me the cash ,
I will lose some, lend, borrow and owe,
there will come a time when i will earn my own ,
When i do ..I will tell you it's much harder when it's your own money,
and suddenly it dawns on me ..
I have to give myself that chance..
This one time .. it's about ME ..:)


Shlokas from my pious neighbours house
she hums while packing lunch
it continues for a short bit
but chores take over
listen carefully, its calming.
I hear those sounds coming from the street
friendly banter and some pleasantries
listen carefully, its fun.
The auto guy loves his new speakers
I might go deaf by the end of this ride
but I listen, its loud.
The office is quiet
there are ratings to beat
but you catch a tune from a jolly coworker
listen carefully, its happy.
The day's over and I'm on my way back
some have plans, the other are impromptu
movie, some food and a smooth drink
listen carefully, its pleasing.
Back in my room
barely lit and in a mess
I fall on my bed,tired
I listen carefully, its nothing.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


A very bright sunny morning in June, 
armed with a degree, confident and beaming,
he walked in with very big dreams,
Of writing stories with spirit,
some that had  change lives, 
and others that lives had changed. 
The obituary section was where he was placed, 
he wrote about the dearly departed, the terribly missed, 
even the occasional ' his time had come',
he worked that column alone,
pasting sad faces and grieveing memories, everyday,
before it went to press.  
Was this what he had wished for? 
to build a family from writing about death,
wait each morning for a teary eyed family member,
or to watch, as hearses passed by.
40 years-3 months -12 days into the job,
his heart gave up, it stopped, right in between a memorial service column, 
walking away from it all. His family rushed to his side,
a pastor was brought in, a coffin was ordered,
and an obituary prepared. 
Suddenly, everybody wondered,
who would write his? 

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Musica para el alma

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music-Aldous Huxley

One tabla, a sitar and a man's nectar like voice, all making love to a note. The lyrics, their aphrodisiac. Silence before they start and the grand finale high. My music sense stopped at just being able to appreciate good music. Much as I would've liked, it did not budge from there to my voice box. I am not vocally challenged, and so what if I am. That hasn't stopped me from loving Elvis or singing Adele. My music palette has tasted everything from Metal to Reggae, they were just an adventurous order from the menu I think. But, we all have a favourite dish, I found mine.

To listen to Abida Parveen, Nusrath, Rahat and Bulle Shah's lyrics all wrapped beautifully with just the right amount of instrument, aaah, Peace. Its like the perfect Lasagna-Cheese,Pasta and just the amount of tomato sauce to make your existence worth it.

Sufi is my happy place. I fall back on Sufi to fall asleep after a hard days work, to stay awake as I rethink my decisions and to just sing with. It isn't just the music, its the voice, those words, the pitch blending together perfectly like the colours of the rainbow. No particular demarcation but you can point them all out.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Tiger Tails

Greedy Langurs, tall green trees and herds of Chitals giving you a cheeky look while crossing the road after looking right and left. This was just a little taste of how driving through the Mudumalai forest reserve felt.

The first thing our driver said to us was ' if you spot an elephant, it’s a good day. But if you spot a tiger, your holiday is made.' We were charged and kept pointing at anything that was slightly yellow and ruffled, as a tiger in the bush. The chances of spotting a tiger were bleak but we were hanging on to a little string, I’d like to call 'tiger hope'. Thinking of taking this wildlife game a step at a time we decided an elephant first, then a tiger.

Half way to the border we spotted a wild tusker minding his own business and chomping on some shrubs. When you see an animal as big as that, apart from being in awe of its size alone, most people wonder if it actually is as wild as the stories say. Not making a sound we took a couple, maybe more than a couple of photographs and drove on. We sat in silence still thinking of that big guy and what he, must’ve thought of us. The game had begun.

The next level in the game was going to be much tougher. Seats were exchanged, the most observant was made to sit near the driver and the loudest was sent back. When you enter a forest it’s almost as if Mother Nature works her magic on you. Your senses are suddenly at its prime and the silence is too. We breathed as much jungle as we could.

Slowly the attention moved to the newly acquired iPod. Will technology ever leave us alone? The loud yawns had begun even before our holiday did. ‘No tigers here, just Google a picture’ someone said. Our tiger hope was crumbling, not giving up yet; the boy in front was still on the lookout. He scanned through every inch of the quickly passing jungle and kept his eyes peeled for any movement. And, boy oh boy! There was movement. That very old cliché about how something’s in life just stay for a fleeting moment. This was our moment.

That marvellous carnivore took one leap in front of our car and was gone even before we could finish saying ‘tiger’. The boy in front was the only one who saw the beast clearly. The driver saw his head and was thanking every supernatural force for the sighting. The people in between caught a glimpse of the paws and were raving about how big they were.

I on the other hand, the back bencher, saw that tiger’s tail. The game was over, the winner had tales to tell his grandchildren and the loser had a tail to tell hers.

Saturday, July 23, 2011


In my experiences over the years and they seem too few to me on most days, I have learnt that a person can do only that much in a day. He can watch the sun rise and spray its rays, making sure they seep into every crevice. The sun stretches and is all set for an entire day of hard work. The man is too. As he walks to work, the horns, footsteps, yawns are all drowned out by the thought of how work will be that day. Its a queezy mixture of hope and anticipation. He makes plans for the evening, even before logging on to his computer. The plans never end in my head, he thinks. Decides what to have for lunch and at what time. Deadlines, screaming, more deadlines, office banter is the usual. Time for a break, the ac is too cold. He walks out lights a cigarette and watches his colleagues go about doing what they are programmed to do. Is this what I look like too, he laughs. Back to work, the day goes on. Logs off and decides to work on those plans. He yawns, tomorrow, maybe.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Of fools and more

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do-Benjamin Franklin ..

I used to have a inspirational quotes poster stuck in my room and this quote has always had a funny effect on me . It wasn't too long ago I came to live alone ..not too far away from home , but far enough . Made friends ,met people and most importantly watched them (read-not like a stalker). Each sapien's company I had the pleasure of being in, either disproved this quote for me or nailed it on the head .There were situations that brought out the fool in people , some conversations did( I am sure a lot of mine would've made me look like a complete idiot , but let us not go there:P ) ,a couple of beer's or maybe even over lunch .What stood out in this crowd were not the wise ,but actually the lesser fool .The one who could control what he had to say , complain lesser and work more and give things a chance . Quite surprisingly there were a lot like that ,some who came knowing they should try and be the lesser fool and the others who were learning .

I was learning,I still am .

Sunday, February 27, 2011


Its not just another nice face,

now ,that mirror shows me more

sides i swore i never had ,

never really is a long time,

Dressing up for a date ,

morale boosts before a meeting,

and kisses to your pretty self,

have been cleaned off like comfortable dust on teak .

The photographs on the sides,

some taken at that very spot,

are all stacked ,staring at the draw,

where did it all go ,i ask that woman,

who was once confident ,soulful and much in love,

why don't i see running mascara from a fight,

or kisses from a new lipstick ,

where are the flashes in the middle of the night,

and my supermodel pout?

All gone she said ,

you forget ,I have two faces.